i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
