I'm gonna have a badass scar
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
