Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
this hospital has no fireball
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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