I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
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i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
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I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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