If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
