I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
