Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
