I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
