she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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