It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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