He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
