u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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