What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
