My Higher Power is John Stamos
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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