I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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