I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I would fuck him just for his dog
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
