i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
