adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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