I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
