She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
