You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
