Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
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My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
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You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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