Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize