Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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