If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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