i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
