no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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