He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Dignity is for republicans.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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