did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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