The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
