This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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