I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
