sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
