you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
