i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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