paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
do herpes really smell.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
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