I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
