it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
