dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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