I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
