we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
