I got chris browned last night
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
