guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
