You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
