haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
