If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize