i think i have herpe
just one?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
