Im at strip club and am horny
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
