Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
please don't ironically join a cult
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