Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
