at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
why is half of my head shaved?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
