Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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