Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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