If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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