Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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