How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
