Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
