my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
