: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
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At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
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Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
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