I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
