my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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