i jhust puked up my retainher.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
