If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
