I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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