I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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